Marriage Advice & Maui Fruit Stand {Honeymoon}

The First Hana Highway Fruit Stand

About a week into our honeymoon (in Maui) Bobby and I decided to do the Road to Hana. It is a long, twisty, windy road with lots of one-way bridges and blind curves. I got to drive.

The first stop we made was at a roadside fruit stand manned by a raw vegan and another guy. There were also chickens…

They gave us some samples. First was a fresh passionfruit (local). Did you know that as soon as a passionfruit is cracked open the vitamin C starts to disappear? It must oxidize or something.

I chatted with the owners. They were so excited about their organic, local fruit. Unfortunately it was not cheap! I think it was worth it though.

Then there was real sugarcane (local):

You chew on it and suck out the sweetness. It’s delicious. These are the fruits we ended up with (2 types of passionfruit, 2 different kinds of bananas, and an avocado):

I cannot find this fruit stand online anywhere (they said it was just called the “First Hana Highway Fruit Stand” because it is the first one you hit when you start the drive). I did get pictures with the raw vegan (the guy with long hair) and his friend. And now I forget their names, which is terrible!


Bobby got a picture too:

Fruit Stand Marriage Lessons

We ended up chatting with the two guys, and the non-raw-vegan (really wish I knew their names!) gave us some very sage marriage advice. He asked us if we had done research on marriage before we got married (we hadn’t, really).

First he asked if we knew what the number one reason for divorce was – we didn’t – it is money. I don’t think we will have to worry about that! We definitely don’t fight over money now, anyway. Sometimes Bobby wants me to be more extravagant but that’s about it. (I think I am finally loosening up based on my big purchase last week.)

The second thing he said was that we must always show love and communicate. I would agree. I think a lot of couples (married or not) can get in the habit of not hugging or kissing and not putting in that little bit of extra effort to be affectionate. It’s so important though; that is what keeps a marriage going!

Lastly, he said that Bobby has to tell me I’m beautiful. I think this is self explanatory.

So his three main healthy marriage tips were:

  • Don’t fight over money
  • Be affectionate, show love, and always always communicate
  • Hubby tells wife she is beautiful just the way she is

What are your tips for a healthy relationship? (Romantic or otherwise – other relationships take work too.)

30 Comments on Marriage Advice & Maui Fruit Stand {Honeymoon}

  1. melissa @ the delicate place
    29 September, 2010 at 8:59 am (6 years ago)

    i love hawaii i want to go back because it’s been years since i was there! my husband and i are cheap so we get along just fine in the finance dept haha. i think communication is key but must be paried with trust. without the trust, you cannot have a solid foundation to build your relationship!

  2. coco
    29 September, 2010 at 9:00 am (6 years ago)

    great tips!
    I’d add that we should always keep in mind not to take anything for granted and appreciate what the other person does for us… even it’s just a minor gesture! 🙂

  3. Gaby
    29 September, 2010 at 10:21 am (6 years ago)

    I read a really insightful quote somewhere a long time ago, I can’t give credit to anyone though because I don’t remember where. but it was along the lines of love is the realization that someone outside yourself truly exists. I think that really says a lot when you analyze it. Not to say that we are all self centered, it’s not about that, but that we view ourselves differently than we do everyone else, there’s a different awareness about ourselves and our existence, and sure, we have a lot of people we care about and that we understand and feel close to, but real REAL love is being able to put yourself inside that other person and see them as you see yourself, a breathing, living, feeling soul. I don’t really buy into the “soul mate” idea, that there’s only one person in the entire universe for me, but I think it’s a good term for finding someone you love. It’s when you really see and feel another soul besides your own.

    wow, I got really deep there haha. On a lighter note, I want to try sugarcane!

    • Maggie
      30 September, 2010 at 4:00 pm (6 years ago)

      @Gaby: I love this though! Also you definitely should try sugarcane. It’s yummy and fun to eat.

  4. Tiffany
    29 September, 2010 at 10:50 am (6 years ago)

    Great post!! Wow, Hawaii seems amazing, and B and I hope to go one day as well! How long were you there? Do you feel you got to do nearly everything you wanted to?
    I was never in a terribly long relationship before I got together w/B, and we’ve now been together for 7 and a half years, married 6. We’ve had many ups and downs, but at the end of the day, it’s about open communication, respect, and realizing that NO relationship is “perfect.”I think that b/c I expect so much of myself, I tend to put ridiculously high expectations on a partner/relationship. It’s taken me therapy, good conversations with B and with friends, and a lot of introspection to realize that every couple is different, and that is okay. My relationship does not have to be some symbol of an ideal, nor does it have to be like someone else’s for me to thrive and be happy, or for B to do the same. I think it’s about reflecting on the little things in one’s relationship on a daily basis, and learning to be grateful for those. Also, I believe a partner should also be a best friend. 🙂

    • Maggie
      30 September, 2010 at 4:02 pm (6 years ago)

      @Tiffany: We were there for almost 2 weeks! It was wonderful. We actually didn’t end up doing that many activities; we spend a lot of time just walking on the beach and relaxing. Which was perfect. We definitely want to go back because it was the perfect vacation for both of us.

      Great insights. Bobby is my best friend 🙂

      • Tiffany
        30 September, 2010 at 4:07 pm (6 years ago)

        Sometimes the best vacations/honeymoons are the calmest ones… I definitely get that!! In fact, when Blair and I went to Amsterdam last year, we sort of overdid the excited traveler-must-see-everything role. 😉 At some point, we burned out, found an awesome cafe, and planted ourselves there two nights in a row for wine and snacks! People-watching was even more fun in a way. 😉
        I’d love to see more photos of your Hawaiian adventure when you have a chance!
        Yes, I really believe that having one’s spouse/partner as a best friend is imperative. That’s not to say I don’t have some amazing female “best” friends as well, but I value my friendship w/Blair first and foremost in our marriage.

        • Maggie
          30 September, 2010 at 4:28 pm (6 years ago)

          I will definitely post more pictures!

  5. Kim
    29 September, 2010 at 12:05 pm (6 years ago)

    I know that fruit stand 🙂 That drive is so pretty 🙂

    I think my husband is similar to Bobby in that he’d like me to be a bit more extravagant. We used to fight about money. Well, not fight. But, I’d get really anxious about money. It’s my hoarding/anorexic tendencies. I’ve loosened up quite a bit.

    We’ve used therapy to help us talk about things, even when there are no problems. I think communication is absolutely the biggest thing. I know everyone says that, but it’s really true. Our therapist has given us some other nuggets, like, “Remember, no problem is ever as important or as big as the marriage itself.” And, “Marriage is about helping each other’s dreams come true.” I think it takes time to let go of the “me me me” attitude and see it as a partnership. My decisions are just for my own well-being now; I have a partner to consider. I think it’s important to allow for that shift in priorities. It can feel weird, but fulfilling, ultimately.

    • Maggie
      30 September, 2010 at 4:03 pm (6 years ago)

      @Kim: Watching Hoarders makes me feel more ok about my hoarding tendencies! At this point I still probably buy too many things that are on sale because they “might” be useful but I am much better at getting rid of crap that I don’t need. I like your therapist’s suggestions!

  6. Justine
    29 September, 2010 at 1:49 pm (6 years ago)

    My boyfriend makes it a point to talk about any issues right then and there instead of letting it fester. It’s worked for almost two years, so far…. 🙂
    Before continuing to read, I thought the raw-vegan was your husband in the first photo. 🙂

    • Maggie
      29 September, 2010 at 1:50 pm (6 years ago)

      @Justine: HAHAHA! You just made me actually LOL. 😀 Good advice, too.

  7. highonhealthy
    29 September, 2010 at 3:36 pm (6 years ago)

    Hawaii looks gorgeous! I’ve always wanted to visit there – tons of sun and fresh fruit? Yes, please!

    That raw vegan dude has some pretty wise marriage advice.. I’ll keep it in mind for when I get married one day. 😉

    • Maggie
      30 September, 2010 at 4:05 pm (6 years ago)

      @highonhealthy: It was the other guy, not the vegan, who gave advice actually lol! But yes, it was very wise 🙂

  8. Eden
    29 September, 2010 at 4:03 pm (6 years ago)

    I hate you a little, for going to that gorgeous stand and for being married to a guy that cherishes you. This dude should move to vegas and dispense his advice there, since everyone and their mom get hitched there.

  9. Sagan
    29 September, 2010 at 4:30 pm (6 years ago)

    That is excellent advice. I’d agree. Miscommunication is often the root of problems in any relationship.

    Looks like that was a really great experience!

  10. Lea @ Healthy Coconut
    29 September, 2010 at 6:38 pm (6 years ago)

    I went to Maui and did the drive to Hana too and also watched the sunrise at Haleakala.

    Wow, I’m proud that you drove that scary road, I was in the passenger seat the whole time and taking pictures. Since the road was small and really tight, I got slapped in the face with bamboo sticks many times while the car was moving.

    Did you pick up the free audio CD at the Shell station right before the drive starts?

    I’m going to be married soon (8 months) so thank you for sharing this tip. Me and the fiance do make an effort in showing each other love every day, no matter how busy we are.

    • Maggie
      30 September, 2010 at 4:05 pm (6 years ago)

      @Lea: We didn’t get the CD! We should have though.

      Congrats on your upcoming wedding! Showing love is so important 🙂

  11. Kath (Eating for Living)
    29 September, 2010 at 6:47 pm (6 years ago)

    I think those tips are really good! Another thing that comes to my mind is not to try to change the other person, but appreciate her the way she is.

  12. Cindy
    29 September, 2010 at 8:07 pm (6 years ago)

    awwww sweet post Maggie!

    we took a scary drive Hwy 1 I think it was hwy 1 and hubs was white knuckles all the way while I practically had my head out the window looking over the cliffs.

    we are pretty opposite, me and my hubster. money has gotten to be a kinda big issue finally and I’d never thought it would be. I also think HONEST communication is key. You need to be able to be honestly yourself and not hold in fears.

    the affection thing is important too but never been an issue for us, nor has he ever stopped saying I’m gorgeous ,…he’s sweet!

    The economy didn’t help the money thing. I won’t lie, it’s been tough and we are WAY different in our saving /spending habits.

    learn how to fight “nicely” too. I love a good healthy fight ( I actually think it’s a RIOT) but mine can say really mean things when he’s frustrated. That’s my only real gripe. I always tell him, if it wasn’t for his MOUTH I’d be blissfully happy! haha

    he’s grumpy a lot! haha but he has PTSD so I have to give him some room for that.

    I’ve learned to be stronger, be more honest with him, and speak up and lay down my boundaries when I need too.

    and marrying a man whose not a sociopath helps too (my last)
    I really want to go to Hawaii!!! looks so beautiful.
    I was just reading some of the other comments. You have gotten a lot of good advice!

    • Maggie
      30 September, 2010 at 4:07 pm (6 years ago)

      @Cindy: Money is a HUGE issue for so many relationships so you are not alone! It is the reason my parents fight. Your hubby is so sweet though and you ARE gorgeous 😀

      That’s a really good point about fighting “nicely” – the nasty fights are hard to get over (I don’t think we ever have them… maybe once).

  13. Amber Shea @Almost Vegan
    29 September, 2010 at 10:34 pm (6 years ago)

    I’ve never had fresh passionfruit; I’d love to try one someday.

    To me, humor and intelligence are two sides of the same mandatory coin I need in my relationships. I need to be able to have a serious, in-depth, esoteric discussion with them one moment, and then erupt into silly laughter with them the next. :]

  14. Melissa @ TryingToHeal
    29 September, 2010 at 11:23 pm (6 years ago)

    i remember the road to hana..not that stand though. we hit up another one though, where we got so many of those baby bananas that we could have turned into one. hahaha!

    no advice from this girl…i can’t even hold a bf! haha! but i think communication is key…it’s what kills me every time.

  15. clare
    29 September, 2010 at 11:41 pm (6 years ago)

    oh so sweet maggie! can i just say, you have LOVELY nails!

    gosh, my best advice is hang in there. and dont be to proud to get outside help.

    • Maggie
      30 September, 2010 at 4:08 pm (6 years ago)

      @Clare: Thanks! I worked so hard to grow them out perfectly for the wedding, haha.

  16. Stephanie
    30 September, 2010 at 12:48 pm (6 years ago)

    This post really brings back memories of my honeymoon in Maui (more than a decade ago now!). We have been back to Maui at least once a year since and absolutely love the island and the people (and the fruit). I hope you guys were able to hike in the bamboo forest, see the big waterfall and hang at the 7 pools.

    The best marriage advice I’ve ever gotten is from my husband’s Oma: never go to bed angry at one another. She is so right. And we are still going strong 🙂

    • Maggie
      30 September, 2010 at 4:09 pm (6 years ago)

      @Stephanie: We are definitely going back too 😀 We did go hiking in the bamboo forest; it was great.

      We heard that tip from someone at our wedding! It works.

  17. elise
    30 September, 2010 at 3:12 pm (6 years ago)

    i love the hana highway but the drive makes me a little sick. i dont think we’ve stopped at that stand before. we stopped at one for fresh fruit smoothies though…so did you do any of the waterfall hikes? they are kinda hidden (off the hana highway) but so fun.

    love the marriage advice, especially the 3rd one 🙂

    • Maggie
      30 September, 2010 at 4:10 pm (6 years ago)

      @elise: We did the twin peaks (or twin falls? i forget the name) – it was just a few miles after this fruit stand actually 🙂

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